Updated: Apr 30, 2020
Muhammad Muneeb Ur Rehman
Everything is bound to go. Destined to change. I guess temporarily. What is the point then? Of looking for a purpose. Of thinking about being meaningful. I guess most of us are just living through it, powering through it and what happens when you don’t have enough power anymore. What do we do then? I guess we lose more. We try to adapt. Some of us reach out for help. Others numb the pain, with money, drugs, alcohol, and God knows what not. And that is the problem, isn’t it? We get addicted to loneliness, loss, solitude and even just being miserable. Loss is unchangeable but so is the idea of addiction. I guess, as a human species, it is still so hard to evolve. Rise above reeling in misery because God knows misery loves some company, any sort of company. It doesn’t matter what kind of what sort. Loss is only misery when we revel in it. Loss is only pain when we cling on to it. Everything changes, it’s destined to grow maybe? Loss can be about that, can’t it? Only when the seed loses its shell does it really root itself into something much bigger, stronger. Only when the bird leaves the nest behind can it sore on the mountain top. That is the thing about loss, it doesn’t have to be temporary. It could be permanent. A permanent transformation.
Oh my god, I get so much emptions as I think about loss. The first that comes to mind is Last July and 2013 March. I don’t know if I know how to deal with loss. Did I actually heal? \why am I always having constant attachments to things? My best friend sent me a recording, did he make it home? Loss is really hard. I don’t think I have an answer. It’s so much pain, emptiness and it’s like I loss a piece of who I am each time. Loss comes in different ways and forms. It never gets less painful. I wrote poems about this but I don’t remember which is which right now. I lost many things, home, friends, family members. I miss Gida a lot, I hope to see her in my dreams soon again. I hope there us a better way to deal with loss. Loss is so hard, I wish we couldn’t feel loss but that’s life. (Just a note here, I didn’t remember it as I wrote this but today, 18th March, marks the anniversary of my Grandma’s passing who I referred to it as Gida. What a coincidence really!)